You Want What?-Da Great Goblin Rebellion-Part 37

I have demands,” said Desimatix as he lolled on a mighty pile of treasure.

Naturally,” agreed Dansey Bigbritches.

He had been selected for this negotiation because Halflings are not threatening. Additionally, he had the rather rare ability of not taking offense and swearing vengeance that so many other ex-adventurers did. A useful skill when dealing with Dragons.

We have a very generous package to offer,” the Halfling produced a scroll, “If you would care to take a look?”

The scroll was gently plucked by Desimatix’s claw as he produced a pair of spectacles from a bejeweled case the size of a wagon.

I just use them for reading,” muttered the Dragon.

Of course. I have a pair as well, though not as wonderful as yours.”

While the Dragon read, Dansey looked about. This was a mighty hoard indeed. In his younger days, he would’ve been calculating how to make off with the most valuable pieces. It would’ve been quite thrilling but he was retired now. And even if he wasn’t, the timing would be terrible. After a few moments, Desimatix said, “It is generous.”


But not generous enough.”

I see,” replied Dansey with a concerned expression, “What else do you require?”

First, the abolishment of the occupation of Dragon Slayer.”

Dansey took out a leather notebook and began to scribble.

Second, all the land around my lair for fifty, no… Let’s say one hundred leagues. Many herds of cattle and sheep for my meals, and peasants to look after them.”

Makes sense.”

The list went on. Monthly Dragon-themed holidays. Plays and songs from a Dragon’s perspective were to be written and performed daily. Laws to be altered to favor Dragons. Regulations to be more punitive to Wyverns. It went on like did, ending with Mount Unapproachable, being carved in the likeness of Desimatix. Just so everyone knew who was the boss.

Anything else?” asked Dansey.

I think that will do for now,” rumbled the Dragon.

Thank you for your time. I’m very sorry we couldn’t come to an accord,” said Dansey, who bowed and began to leave.

Wait. What’s going on?”


Dansey turned and regarded the Dragon with a sad expression.

I don’t feel as though you’re taking this seriously.”

You have a big mouth for such a tiny fellow,” growled the Dragon.

Was that a threat? Are you threatening to kill me?”

That was the idea?”

Are you asking me or telling me?”

Telling you! Most definitely telling you.”

Then go ahead.”

Dansey stared at Desimatix, with his hands clasped behind him. He thought it made him look brave but it was mostly to keep his hands from shaking.

Well now I don’t want to,” said the Dragon feeling as though he had lost control of this negotiation.

May we speak plainly to each other?” asked Dansey.

Very well.”

It is in your best interest to aid us. The Abomination invasion is a danger to everyone in the land.”

Perhaps to you.”

Even if they leave you be, and that seems very unlikely, what will you eat? Not them.”

That’s not a bad point,” conceded Desimatix.

The Citadel of the Light has allied themselves with the Society of the Night to repel these horrors.”

Snorting fire, Desimatix chortled, “And you trust them.”

I trust they want to live. We have found the rift between the outer plane and the land. With your fire breath, we think can seal it.”

Oh, I can seal it, have no doubts in that regard!”

If you can do that-”

I just said I could!”

Apologies. If you agree to do that, I’m more than confident that songs will be sung in your honor. Songs praising you.”

Desimatix thought about that. All the songs in which he featured were uniformly negative. The concept that praise might be earned and not coerced was something that had never occurred to him. It was not without its appeal.

He had lost count of those who he had reduced to tears and snot from fear, but this Halfling seemed unafraid. So strange.

So, you have a simple choice, life or death. What will it be?”

Life, I suppose.”

Very wise. May I ask, did you really want any of those things you asked for?”

Desimatix took a moment and replied, “I don’t suppose so.”

Then why ask for them?”

Well, if I’m being honest, no one ever asks a Dragon what they want. I think I just got carried away.”

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