Good Luck With That

Greetings Jarl Bonegrinder, lord of the Troll-Lands,

I wish to discuss a mutually beneficial arraignment between your folk and the Society of the Night. If this is amenable to you, please send word.

 Respectfully,

Darvinia, Enchantress of the Cursed Forest, Chairlady

P.S. I would ask you not to eat our courier.

Darvinia,

As the Jarl of all the Troll-Lands, I’m frankly quite surprised to get a message from the oh so lofty Society of the Night. 

I’ll bet you’re wondering why?

Mostly because when we wanted to join your little group, we were told, and I quote, “The Society of the Night is for those whose ambition, power, and sophistication rise to a certain level. We have no interest in brutish savagery.” Strange considering your ranks include Umpbor the Head-Crusher and Wipkaw, the Whip-Handed Warrior.

So you can see why I’m confused by your current offer of… friendship.

Maybe if you explained it to me, keeping in mind my low level of ambition, power, and sophistication, I might be able to figure out what’s going on.

 Jarl Bonegrinder

P.S. We did eat your courier. Next time, send someone less succulent.

Jarl Bonegrinder,

It is unfortunate that past leaders of the Society of the Night were so short-sighted regarding Troll inclusion in our ranks. This is a subject we are more than willing to revisit.

If you are willing, we can discuss the details of our proposal for a first collaborative venture that will be of mutual benefit to both of us.

Please respond with all due haste as this is a time-sensitive matter.

 Respectfully,

Darvinia, Enchantress of the Cursed Forest, Chairlady

Darvinia,

I found it interesting that your last courier was a stone golem. There is a rumor that Trolls eat rocks, which is not true. I’m sure you picked your messenger out of expedience and not a stereotype. Unfortunately, some of my troops are less enlightened so I’m sorry to say your golem was destroyed. Let’s chalk that up to a misunderstanding.

While I am willing to talk about this venture, I am going to have to demand that myself and my sub-jarls (list attached separately),

be admitted as full members, with all the benefits that come with that, before we consider any collaboration. 

 Jarl Bonegrinder

Jarl,

Apologies for my use of an invisible servant to deliver this message. I felt as though it might be less provocative than what we used before. I hope the sudden appearance of this message in your private quarters caused you no undue stress.

While I cannot bestow full membership to all those you requested, it was quite a list, I am authorized to offer you and two of your highest ranking sub-jarls a seat at the table. Consider it an act of good faith.

If this is agreeable to you, let us name a time and place to parley.

 Respectfully,

Darvinia, Enchantress of the Cursed Forest, Chairlady

Madame Chairlady,

Without knowing what this proposal is, I can’t agree to anything. Trolls can be stubborn if they feel like they are being lied to.

It’s time to get real.

 Jarl Bonegrinder

Oh Lord of the Troll-Lands,

It saddens me to think that stubbornness and ancient history might be the cause of you not taking this leap forward to a darker tomorrow alongside us.

I propose that we meet in the Ruins of Arv’Karth’Marv to discuss this in detail. Please bring your two nominees with you and we can get the scroll work going.

 Darvinia, Enchantress of the Cursed Forest, Chairlady

Darvinia,

Let me give you some Trollish wisdom. “Don’t swing an axe just before dawn.” 

Just so we’re clear, if I were in your position, I wouldn’t be so evasive if I had as many problems as you do.

If you want the help of the Troll-Lands, better start getting more generous. Before it’s too late.

 Jarl Bonegrinder

Bonegrinder,

I’m disappointed in your attitude. This could’ve been a brand new start for both of us. In the interest of transparency, we are negotiating with other parties. 

However, if you change your mind, please contact me posthaste.

Darvinia, Enchantress of the Cursed Forest, Chairlady

Darvinia,

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

And HA!

Jarl Bonegrinder

PS Let me know how that works out for you.

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