A.E.G.I.S. REPORT # 89H6-43KV
PROJECT: November Delta Alpha
DATE: October, 29th, 20XX
POTUS: Lemme say right off the bat, I don’t care for you strollin’ into the Oval Office like it’s a Wawa and you just need a quart of milk and some Tastykakes.
X: Mister President, as your predecessors knew, we see our access to the White House as a sacred trust. When we do visit, please understand that it is of the utmost importance.
POTUS: It’s lucky that REDACTED had to reschedule that meeting.
X: Yes, we are most fortunate.
POTUS: Let’s deal straight with each other. What do you want?
X: I wish to discuss Mister Ramirez.
POTUS: You and the rest of the world! Whoda thunk it? A genuine superhero, right out of a funny book!
X: Indeed sir.
POTUS: And he beat cancer! Folks are going loco about that part. I don’t suppose you’re here to tell me you figured out how to do that?
X: Not yet Mister President. There is a vast amount of data to sift through.
POTUS: I’ll bet.
X: You would win that wager, Mister President.
POTUS: My keister isn’t a ham so stop blowing smoke up it! What are you here to say?
X: As you said earlier sir, there is a real-life superhero in our midst. An American superhero. I suggest that you embrace the opportunity to fully legitimize that.
POTUS: From everything I’ve heard and seen, he seems like a stand-up fellah. Saved all those folks.
X: Which is why if you accorded him some honor, say the Presidential Citizens Medal, it would show that you and the United States Government stand behind the first American superhero.
(POTUS pauses for five seconds)
POTUS: That’s not a bad idea. It’ll put a stamp of approval on things. Honestly, I thought you were going to tell me we needed to REDACTED, like the time you told REDACTED to REDACTED.
X: Much different time Mister President.
POTUS: Alrighty, if we’re doing this, we need to go all in. Ramirez is getting the Presidential Medal of Freedom. With Distinction. That man’s a real American hero, we gotta treat him like that.
X: I agree. Best to be, as you said, all in.
POTUS: If there’s nothing else, I’ve got work to do.
X: Thank you for your time, Mister President.
October 30th, 20XX. 9:00 A.M. EST.
Russian Naval Corvette Sinks Off Coast
The RFS Smerch (a Nanuchka III class corvette with a complement of sixty), sank in the sea of Japan with all hands, approximately one hundred and twenty-three nautical miles off the coast of Vladivostok. Rescue ships were sent but as of this report, no survivors have been found. The incident took place during a routine patrol according to a Russian Naval press release.
Counter-Admiral Fedor Volkov, of the Vladivostok Naval Base, issued this statement.
“We are all saddened by the loss of the crew of the Smerch, all of them brave and loyal sailors taken too soon. The cause of this is currently under investigation and it would be unhelpful to make any speculation as to the details. We will release more information as it becomes known to us. Thank you.”
A Japanese cargo ship, the Ryūjin Maru, that was ten miles, northeast of the sinking, radioed in a report of sounds of explosions, preceded by a loud sonic boom. There were no recorded aircraft in the region at that time.
Russian Naval authorities have remained silent about this latest development.
Reporting by George Nephus and Barbara Lenke, Writing by George Nephus; Editing by Dani Chin.